How to Avoid/Cope with Stress (a completely non-expert's guide)

Everyone has a healthy dose of stress. I say 'healthy dose', but stress isn't healthy, not really. Stress can lead to all sorts of problems. It's a regular saying only adults feel proper stress, but this isn't true. Anyone can feel stress. Some more severely, I'll admit, but everyone can feel stress. Stress is a mental emotion felt when someone thinks they cannot meet certain expectations.

I'm going to share my method of coping with stress. Let me say that I am no sort of professional and I'm purely writing this blog in the hope I can help others, because one of the most common side effects of stress is this - you feel helpless. You cannot reach out because usually, you have no idea how. I've felt this before and I wish to lessen the amount of others who have the same feelings.

1) RELEASE IT.

Bottling up stress is the worst method of trying to cope with it. It may seem like a good idea at the time, because you may feel like you can't tell anyone why you feel stressed because it appears awkward or embarrassing, but releasing stress doesn't mean necessarily you have to talk to someone. However, I do recommend talking to someone who knows and understands you. Even if they don't relate to your problems, there is one thing they will relate to: the feeling of stress. The self-doubt. The anxiety and worry that seems to some days sweep you off your feet. Because even though it may not seem like it, everyone suffers from a little bit of stress. There is no one that lives and prances in their endlessly happy world for their entire life - those people do not exist; they remain a fantasy.

Talking to someone definitely gives a new perspective. They can reassure you, offer their opinions, comfort you. Even if it doesn't take much effect and you have sunk deep into the pit which is stress and you can barely breathe the air anymore, talking about your feelings is almost like pulling a plug on your emotions. They flood out and generally, it makes you feel better. The bathtub runs dry.

If you really don't want to talk to people, or you feel uncomfortable about it, there are several other ways to express your stress.

2) DANCE IT OUT.

Dance. Shake that booty. And I mean to HAPPY songs. Songs that uplift your mood - however tempting it is to listen to every Adele song ever made on repeat, it will not help you. You can relate to the lyrics, perhaps, but it will not make you feel any better. Unless you perhaps think Adele's problems may be a lot worse than yours, and that makes you feel better...in a dark and twisty sort of way.

But dancing it out is just another way of expressing emotions, just not through speech. Even if you can't dance, just do a little jiggle, a little wiggle of the hips. It can't hurt.
3) WRITE IT DOWN.
Another good way of releasing your feelings is to write them down. Just let them spill out as messily onto the page. It doesn't have to be good or poetic, just what you feel - raw and unfiltered. Even if you don't read it back one day, even if you never give it a second thought, I guarantee it will make you feel better. Try and keep a journal, but don't let it hang over you; there is no pressure to write in it daily or weekly or monthly. Just whenever you need to.

4) RELAX, BUT DON'T DISMISS.

Sometimes, stress can just be cured by a little alone time. Take a bubble bath, make a playlist, drink some tea, watch every single episode of PLL. My relaxation methods usually consist of a hot bath with a Lush bath bomb, bucketloads of tea, cosy blankets, drawing, writing and breathing. Take some deep breaths. Remind yourself why you are lucky to have certain things in your life.
I also find watching the world around you helps. Even if it's only for a few minutes, sit outside and watch a landscape that strikes you as beautiful. Watch it and revel in that moment for as long as you can - clear your head a little.

But don't, I repeat DON'T, dismiss your stress. Because dismissing it won't make it go away permanently. You need to prepare yourself for whatever is making you feel stressed. It may be school, work, even family or friend issues. Whatever it is, you will feel better if you brace yourself for it. Face it and be ready. Or a little ready. 1% ready, because no one is ever 100% ready - nerves are okay. Nerves are normal.

If it is some sort of test, revise for it. Prepare for it. Even if you hear people slagging it off and saying it's okay not to revise, it is very likely they will get worse than you. Even if you don't revise, even if you don't do as well as you wanted to, don't be majorly upset. It happens to everyone. Mistakes are chances to learn, chances to advance. IT IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.

5) BE POSITIVE.

Being a pessimist is never going to get you anywhere. You might be naturally a grumpy person, but you've got to find that tiny little ray of sunshine inside of you. Even if it is miniscule. Even if it is barley felt on the surfaces of Antartica. You have to find it and use it to the fullest extent you can.

The more positive you feel, the better you will feel if you make a mistake, and the better you will feel generally.

6) ACCEPT YOU ARE NOT PERFECT.

Everyone wants to strive to be the best they can be. But the best is different for everyone, and everyone fails. No one is a genius who never fails, and that is what makes us human.

Perfection does not exist and it never will exist. Just remember you are you, and however corny it sounds, that is the best thing to hold on to, and the most important thing. Never lose yourself, because whatever mistakes you make, they do not define you.

It boils down to feeling comfortable in your own skin, and finding that one thing that makes you happy with yourself. Even if you are not the best at it.

- Olivia